I want to stop but can’t……6 valid but bad reasons.

Cycling. Downhill. My brakes were less than perfect……..I wanted to stop…….I can’t I thought…………..

But I did.

You can stop if you want to. It is in your hands.

Why won’t you?

When will it end?

Allow me to pose some questions as to why it isn’t over.

What it is that is driving it on. Why you are allowing it to clog up your time, your life. Why you are letting it drag your soul and your mood down.

One or more on this list is the reason.

It is a matter of pride or principle

We all work hard. We do our best. We want to succeed. When these things are questioned by actions and behaviours of others what do we do…….

Defend.

Puff out our chests. Bang the table. Stand firm. Shout. Argue. Take a tough line. Hold firm.

Admirable.

Perfectly natural to want to protect what we stand for.

Attack.

It is the best form of defence we are told.

Sometimes it works. A swift reaction. A blow at the right spot will slay the offending animal.

When it doesn’t you are stuck. The retaliation may be effective. It may heighten your resolve. It may make you even more stuck. Stuck. Stuck.

All admirable. But who really cares?

And more importantly is perpetuation helping you?

Angst. Anger. Upset. All transient feelings. In the cold light of day we have the ability to stand back and examine things from an objective stance. What was worth standing up for at the time, in defence may have become diluted, less menacing, threatening.

Don’t continue on a matter of principle. It is rarely worth it.

I can’t back down now

Why not?

Who says so?

Change in all things is allowed. If it is right to change then change. Change your course. Change your plan. Change your tactics. Change your mind.

Change may not = backing down at all.

Change can = solution. A way out.

Pressure

Family.

Partner.

Friends.

Colleagues.

Business associates.

Financial.

Is that pressure driving you on? Why are you letting it do that? Maybe you like it. It keeps you fuelled up, revved and primed ready to….what?…..burst a blood vessel?

Are you in control of it’s destiny or is someone else pulling your strings?

 

I can’t afford to stop

“In for a penny, in for a pound”

If the “can’t afford” is about saving face what will the cost be if you go on. Lose more. Lose out altogether. Who’s face will be lost then?

If the “can’t afford” is about the financial commitment you have made – if your doubt is about that commitment then you really ought not to be carrying on at all.

 

I will feel a failure if I stop.

I am worried about losing respect amongst my peers/colleagues/industry gurus/business chums.

These 2 can all be lumped together.

Fear of failure. It affects us all. I am not a psychologist so cannot preach with any authority but what I do know is that 80% of what we fear is out of our control and pretty much the remainder is irrational. How often have you dreaded saying something to someone or doing something and as soon as you start the fear evaporates – it doesn’t go anywhere – it just wasn’t there in the first place. A pointless thought.

So kick fear into touch.

Failure. What is that?

Who judges you? How is failure measured? Is there a standard? Who says what is and what isn’t?

“Fail again, fail better”……and why not?

But….and it is a BIG BUT…..

getting shot of something not helping you is not a failure.

It is a +

a massive +

It will free your:

life, mind,time,energy,anxiety,family,soul,bank balance.

Lose it and build:

relationship, business, bank balance, esteem.

So remind me why you are perpetuating. Maybe I have missed something. Tell me if I have.

Sit somewhere quietly and ask yourself what is it:

1 Achieving

2 Costing

3 Affecting

Once you realise it is a bad thing in your life you can find the way to solve it.

…..so will you? Did you? Tell me.

 

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